BrennerWorld

The Girls (and doddering old coot) Next Door

amandabrenner — Sun, 17 Aug 2008 02:05:21 -0500

I hate to admit it, but I sometimes watch The Girls Next Door. This is the reality television show about Bridget, Holly and Kendra, the three young women (ages 34, 28 and 23, respectively) who live with Hugh Hefner in the Playboy mansion, allegedly filling the roles of live-in girlfriends.

I think it is one of the funniest shows, not in a nonstop guffaw sort of way, but I love watching little background scenes.

Really, what 83 year old man doesn't want to have three beautiful young "blonds" attending to his "needs"? You can't blame the guy for that, and he obviously has the right carrots to dangle. Male readers: Don't even try to tell me you would turn down Hefner's living arrangements, well at least not at age 83.

I also don't have any problem with ladies being interested in financial security. You can call them gold diggers, or whatever, but in reality the majority of women like a man with some earning potential. Many women have a need for financial security and look for a man to help fulfill that need.

But I watched the Valentine's Day episode last night, and I had to laugh at the old geezer selecting gifts for the three live-in ladies of his life - get this - from the official-looking Playboy licensed merchandise catalog. Woo woo! And all of them received identical gifts assembled and (identically) boxed by Hef's personal and ancient, yet spry, secretary.

The biggest concern was how to fit the corporate rabbit-eared cruft into the preselected heart shaped gift boxes. Valentine's Day for Hef's women is apparently the same as receiving a fifth anniversary incentive from your company. So personal, like a Tiffany money clip or engraved lighter or digital clock with company logo. I think he gave Holly, the "main" girlfriend, some additional cheap Disney crap, but really, I would be pissed to get corporate gear and Mickey Mouse shit on Valentine's Day.

In most episodes, Hef walks about pretending like he is interested in the live-in girlfriends. One time, Main Squeeze Holly, who refers to the old codger as "Baby Puffin" bought him some real live peacocks or parrots and he seemed genuinely thrilled. But the interaction with the girls seems completely fake and contrived.

They talk to him and fawn over him and he interjects a fake laugh here and there. And sometimes he refers to some interest of theirs as "cute" and feigns a little interest. It's almost like he is interacting with a trio of gerbils.

The girls go off to Vegas or Alaska and try to make us believe that he cares if they come back the same day (or ever).

Bridget and Holly actually seem intelligent although we can see right through Holly's pretend marriage and baby plotting. Bridget is supposedly still married to her real-life husband.

Kendra seems to have been added for the high potential of girl on girl action, plus it is kind of fun to see Kendra's mom on the show, a woman who looks like she has smoked a few packs a day for most of her life. And call me a prude, but I have never wanted my brother involved in my sex life, and I can imagine Kendra's brother doesn't want her setting him up to "get laid". *shudder*

The whole Kendra wanting to help her little pseudo gangsta brother get laid thing reminded me of a girl I used to know back in California. One time, after a night of clubbing, we went back to hang out at her apartment and she shared with me (a) some awesome homemade bread and butter pickles that her mother had sent to her from South Carolina, and (b) an XXX rated birthday card featuring a porno picture of a guy, sent to her by her brother. That scarred me!

If I had to be one of the three, I would definitely be Bridget. She has some curves, and an IQ of substance and a degree or two.

And, at 34, she looks smokin' hot in a sequined bikini!

I love being Argentinian!

amandabrenner — Fri, 15 Aug 2008 01:46:29 -0500

This week's food experience de mi cocina: Empanadas!

These beauties were my first attempt at the ubiquitous snack food of Buenos Aires. I decided to stick with the traditional chopped meat version using a recipe from my favorite publication, Saveur Magazine. Yep, that is steak that I finely chopped by hand (not ground beef), mixed with spices, roasted red peppers, chopped potato and hard-cooked egg, onion, red pepper and raisins, all oven baked in a handmade pastry.

I must say, they were delicious and I will be making more.

I want to make some vegetarian versions, perhaps onion and cheese. I also want to learn to make the pretty braided edges. Some of my edges came out better than others, but we ate the pretty ones before I took Empanada glamour shots.

Did I mention that I am going to take photography classes soon? The goal is to get the basic classes out of the way, then pursue food photography. I've got plenty to learn, but my published food photos to date suggest this is something I could do rather well with practice!

How did we lose gratitude?

amandabrenner — Sun, 27 Jul 2008 02:11:14 -0500

It's a serious question that I think about often. I'd like to hear what others think.

Of course, in spite of caring to hear others' thoughts on the matter, don't think for a moment that I am going to keep my own theories to myself!

What I perceive is that more and more, people are very concerned with what others have, to the detriment of their satisfaction with their own lives. They talk about money and houses and cars, and the best home theater, with anyone who will listen. They talk about salaries and what things cost, and everyone knows approximately what everything costs these days anyway. Thank you, Internet. Thank you, Public Records.

The lack of gratitude permeates every aspect of our lives.

Our children are not happy with what they have. They've likely been raised with everything they've wanted, or they at least know and hang out with children who have been raised with everything. Most kids don't say "thank you", aren't expected to say "thank you", and quite frankly, aren't thankful. If they don't have every whim satisfied, or know other kids who have every whim satisfied, they can watch countless hours of MTV where children of celebrities and car dealership owners are ungrateful for birthday parties which cost in excess of a half a million dollars and involve proudly being cruel towards kids they don't like. And their parents seem clueless in teaching them gratitude. Or shame. Or empathy.

Two working parents, some with credit cards, often equals owning (or appearing to own) whatever they want, and why should children not have what they want as well? The line of the haves and the have nots has been so blurred by the credit society. We can all have it all with credit cards, home equity loans, etc. Entitled parents equals entitled children.

I remember the first Christmas with LD. We didn't have a lot of money between the two of us due to some mistakes, but we went out and purchased quite a few gifts for her. At least she would have packages to open and she would have joy. Well, maybe not. After she unceremoniously ripped the paper off each gift, she moved onto the next, barely looking at what was given to her. At the end, she looked around, and asked, "Is that all?" Never mind that no one else was opening gifts.

It took years to teach her gratitude, or at least teach her to fake gratitude, which had to be taught by NOT giving to her, or having her LOSE something, but never just by explaining or talking nicely to her.

Now granted, she was just not quite six, but I clearly remember writing thank you letters for gifts and purchasing gifts for others at that age (and I still have some of those precious cherished gifts from friends and family alike), and here she was, acting as a miserable slighted child instead of one being taught to appreciate and cherish not just possessions, but the fact that someone thought of her, sometimes from far away.

No, I don't expect children to be perfect, but I do expect the adults in their lives to teach them gratitude from early on, as soon as they can grasp the concept, and it just isn't happening anymore, and I believe that this is because people who are not grateful cannot teach gratitude.

And I am also guilty. As we collect more possessions, and surround ourselves with more possessions, we start to think we need those possessions, but in reality we need very little.

When I moved into my own apartment in the Houston area after a failed cohabitational relationship, I was able to be very happy in a one bedroom apartment in a nice area. Eventually I moved into a two bedroom apartment in a nice area. I had decent things, and everything I needed and even some of what I wanted. I had good friends and a decent job and a nice boss.

But that apartment, which was once happiness for me, would take some serious getting used to these days. For as my standard of living has increased, I've learned to turn my nose up at anything less almost every step of the way, and I surround myself with people who live like me and have as much as me or more. Where once I could be happy with my life with a linoleum kitchen floor, I've learned that I like tile better, and I've learned that I like pricey big tile even more and now simple 12" tile doesn't bring out the same gratitude that it once did. And rightfully, I feel shame.

How many things can we look at from a completely different direction, therefore bringing joy to our lives instead of thinking of our circumstances as a burden or punishment?

In my September 1, 2008 issue of Woman's Day, there is an article titled "No More Drowning in Debt!" by Mary Hunt. Interesting is Ms. Hunt's first rule to eliminating debt is the "10-10-80 Rule". She says to give away ten percent, save ten percent, and live the best life you can on eighty percent of your net income. Ms. Hunt also acknowledges that this is not advice that you would hear from a traditional licensed financial advisor. Her point for the first ten percent being given away is that giving to others who are less fortunate releases gratitude for what you have. The point of the ten percent savings is that knowing you have money in the bank quells the fear of being broke. Giving and saving promote contentment.

Personally, I think it is my best interest and the best interest of my family to regain gratitude. Perhaps it is time to rethink the rote meal blessing for those of us who practice it. Perhaps it is time to think of "we" instead of "me". There are a billion ways to do this.

What do you think?

Going to the dentist is not my favorite pasttime.

amandabrenner — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 02:45:46 -0500

You know you are getting old when your dentist seems too young to drive, let alone drill about in your mouth at will.

I've got this reminder postcard on my desk here, that says I'm due for my cleaning soon. And here I am, flossing like mad to make up for the fact I've been slacking again. If I floss for a good two hours a day until my appointment, and make some sort of bargain with God, I'll be okay and the hygienist won't have to mark my chart for not flossing (and then torture me with the hook tool).

I had a bad experience quite a few years back, at the hands of the "dentist" of my then "boyfriend". Both of those terms are in quotes because both of them were sub par in their roles. Never before had I tried to escape from a dentist, nor had I been tempted to exact revenge on a medical professional or a boyfriend. I still contemplate it from time to time. Think back to the days when the dentist was also the town blacksmith. It was like that only worse!

As a result of this horrid experience, I actually avoided the dentist for years. I'm really lucky that I don't have dental problems now, and I thank my attentive parents for that. My mother would haul us kids to the dentist several towns over, a feat that involved transferring onto several city buses, mind you. I don't know why she did that as I am sure the town we lived in had plenty of qualified dentists. It was my father's job to nag and threaten us kids if we didn't brush and then he would peer around in our mouths to see if we did a good job. Thanks Mom and Dad!

We love our current dentist. He looks to be about seventeen, but he's gentle, and I don't think he's a farrier on the side. He also has a policy that you never have to wait for your appointment time, which is good because I get testy while waiting for the inevitable torture (which never actually occurs anymore).

I am sad and disheartened at the demise of etiquette...

amandabrenner — Wed, 02 Jul 2008 01:23:17 -0500

Recently, on one of the local message boards I read, someone wondered aloud why anyone would wear a ball cap to an upscale restaurant.

My guess is that most people are not aware that it is considered a lack of respect to wear a hat or cap indoors, as they have likely never been taught any sort of manners. They don't know that it is the custom for a man to remove his hat, and for a woman not to wear a man's hat.

Well let me tell you, the ball cap wearers are very upset that people are not accepting of ball caps being worn indoors. People in the far, far, far north Dallas area want to wear their ball cap indoors. They want to wear their cowboy hat indoors. How dare someone point out to them something printed in every etiquette book printed in the last 200 years.

Their retorts were, "what does it matter what someone else is wearing?" It doesn't matter that it is considered customary to remove the hat!

No one replied, "Gee I didn't know that, now that I know it is part of my society's rules of conduct, I'll take my hat off!" Nope, they were just irate.

I dunno... what does it matter? At what point does anything matter?

Where do we draw the line at respect? What does it matter what anyone wears to your wedding? Seriously? Let them wear shorts and a shirt with an expletive across the front. Who cares? Why should anyone dress up for your wedding? Don't matter what people wear.

What is the point of "Please", "Thank you", or "Excuse me"?

Here was a good point: What about when you go to a job interview, do you decline the interviewer's handshake? What is the point of shaking hands? Who cares? Shouldn't affect you if they expect a handshake. Pshaw.... respect and custom, how stupid. Oh, wait... money in your pocket if you get the job.. you have mastered the handshake, haven't you?

Another good point: What, you are getting married? You already have your own place, maybe live together? How stupid to register for your wedding... that's old school. Oh wait, you can get a huge payout by embracing custom and sending out tons of invites, and registering at multiple stores? Well, by all means, register then! But please omit the thank you cards! People should give a gift with no strings attached, and to expect acknowledgment is to attach strings.

What is the next social option? Why should we use the knife and fork? Let's use our hands.

Manners are about showing respect for others. It is no surprise to me that so many people are uninterested in manners in this "all about me" world.

Paul McKenna can make you thin!

amandabrenner — Tue, 06 May 2008 02:55:29 -0500

Recently on A&E, a short series aired. I Can Make You Thin is a program (or programme, in Paul's homeland) where this motivational hypnotist uses mind programming and behavior modification techniques to help people lose weight.

I won't argue with Paul's techniques. After all, they work. Eat less. Eat when hungry, stop when full. Don't eat for emotional reasons. Don't shoot to be model thin. All that makes 100% sense.

The weird and very sad thing is that people think that this common sense is a diet.

Paul McKenna has a message board on his website. People who most likely were birthed by second or third generation serial dieters ask questions such as:

"I'm overweight now. Do I need to go on a diet and lose weight before I start Paul's program?"
The answer is no, you do not have to lose weight before you start eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full.

"I'm pregnant. Can I use Paul's diet?"
The answer is yes, you can eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full, while pregnant.

It is so sad that people have gotten so out of whack with what eating is all about. It isn't a game of trading off these calories for a diet soda, or how many artificially sweetened products can I substitute for regular. It isn't about getting the most food for the least money. It is about feeding our bodies.

The saddest thing is that there are more and more people who are using food as a drug. I know I do, especially in the middle of the night when I feel alone, and another day has passed where I didn't do what I wanted to do. I can start it all over tomorrow after all, be it housework, or writing, or a dream, or healthy eating habits. Or exercise.

You get the picture.

Hmmm... I'm still Italian.

amandabrenner — Tue, 06 May 2008 02:39:09 -0500

Well, here it is almost a month later and I am still cooking Italian food. I am sorry that I promised Ethiopian food, I guess that has been moved to the "back burner" for now. Pun intended?

Ethiopians please note: I haven't given up yet!

Tonight's pictures are of a rustic bread (a la extra pizza dough that I practiced throwing about) and the precious and shiny Marcato Atlas 150 pasta machine. We can't wait to make more spinach pasta, and that is what we plan to do for this week's date night.

The weekend before last, I had an impromptu dinner get together. Given the timing, there were only five of us, but it was a great combination of five! Anne, Mike, Kari, David and moi. With most of us being light eaters, I made a simple lasagne Bolognese with homemade spinach pasta (pre-machine, sore muscles pasta), Caprese salad, A few cheeses to start off with, including gorgonzola and an aged cheddar, and baguette. For dessert, we had creme brulee in my little lion's head ramekins (not the best vehicles for torching a creme brulee, yet adorable and must be used).

For once, all the wines were a hit. In the order served:

The Argentinian Malbec was a wild card, thrown in at the end of the evening since everyone was done eating. I never miss a chance to roll out my favorites! The evening was a success and I hope to do it again soon.

Stay tuned to Brennerworld for more faffing about in the kitchen!

I love being Italian...

amandabrenner — Thu, 10 Apr 2008 01:19:41 -0500

...even though I'm not.

My current interest is Italian cooking. Why is this? Well the long story short is that while having my car serviced at the dealership, and leafing through their collection of magazines, I came across one titled Saveur. It was full of gorgeous photos and recipes, one of which was for my favorite dish to cook at home, French Onion Soup! And they included historic photos of French restaurants that are still in existence - places to visit on our next trip, and motivation to visit yet again.

Yes, I know French Onion Soup is not Italian. But the dealership was so kind as to make me a photocopy of the article and I took a subscription card home to subscribe immediately.

As part of my paid subscription, I received two small recipe booklets, Italian Classics I and Italian Classics II. Then, I received my first issue, which was full of Italian recipes.

In the last week, I've made two pizzas completely from scratch. I've made a double batch of Ragu alla Bolognese, and with half of that I will be making homemade spinach pasta with which I will assemble lasagne. We polished off a recipe of Spaghettia alla Carbonara over the last two days. Delicioso!

Oh, and since I am now Italian, we had to go to Jimmy's Food Store, in Dallas proper, which is a neighborhood Italian market. There, I bought Parmesan Reggiano, Pecorino Romano, canned Italian tomatoes, and pancetta. So what that it cost me $20 in gas to drive there (plus we were going down that way anyway for wine tasting).

Next, I'll be trying some of the Ethiopan recipes from the last issue. The spices sound wonderful and we love lentils.

Watch for my installment titled, "I love being Ethiopian".

Seven years of Brennerhood

amandabrenner — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 20:18:50 -0600

Yesterday was our seventh anniversary. At last, a day of celebration without one or both of us having some sort of viral infection!

So we did the usual anniversary stuff: We visited Celestial Park, where we were married, drove past some of the old haunts down in that area, and then went to dinner.

I always enjoy going back to Celestial Park, but it is so different now. The park isn't kept up as nice as it was back then, and there is usually someone loitering around the sundial (much like we do).

We visited the two apartment complexes where we lived as newlyweds, and they are really run down now. They may have been less than stellar while we lived there, but now they would be out of the question. I don't think it's a matter of us being used to nicer surroundings, I think the area has just gone to the dogs. Sorry, dogs.

The idiocy of Oprah and some woman who married a comedian

amandabrenner — Sat, 17 Nov 2007 02:59:11 -0600

My mother loves Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah likes to give things to people. Some of those things might be stupid and unnecessary ideas.

A rags to filthy riches story can be a wonderful thing, but let's not go off the deep end folks!

Jessica Seinfeld, supposedly wife of Jerry Seinfeld (of Seinfeld), supposedly cannot get her kids to eat regular ol' food. So, she wrote a book on how to sneak regular ol' food into kids.

She purees some vegetables and mixes minute quantities into desserts.

Hello?

Would you, as an intelligent human being, admit that you couldn't feed regular ol' food into a kid? For how many thousands of years have children been eating vegetables, etc.? All 11 Walton kids managed to live after eating just regular ol' food right out in the open.

My mother was so impressed with this idea of tricking children into eating desserts containing smidgens of vegetables, that she proclaimed Jessica Seinfeld a genius. So I asked my mother, "How did you manage to get us to eat our vegetables as kids?"

My mother's response: "I don't know, you just ate them!"

Helllooooooooo? Because that is what we were given!

And, to this day I love vegetables the best.

I know I won't win anyone over here, I won't even try. But rest assured, if you are feeding your kids hidden foods everyday, a bunch of people are laughing at your stupidity. And your kids are not going to sneak vegetables into their own undeveloped senses of taste later in life. You understand that, right? They will just eat sweets and fats because they never developed beyond that stage.

But hey, you won.

The death of the social visit

amandabrenner — Sun, 04 Nov 2007 01:36:39 -0500

When I was a little kid, my parents would take us visiting.

It could be in any familial configuration: Mother/daughter, parents/children, etc., but people would go the homes of friends and acquaintances and sit in their living rooms, partake of their refreshments, and just shoot the breeze.

Judging from known milestones in time, I would have to say I was doing this on my own by about the age of six, around 1969 or 1970.

We had some next door neighbors, Stella and Mike, who had a kid-magnet in the form of an old English sheepdog named Harry. I remember, vividly, knocking on the door and being invited in to talk. I can tell you the layout of the house, and describe part of the decor. Stella and Mike were super-cool, having a highly lacquered wooden cable spool as a coffee table, and a "guest room" of purple inflatable pool mattresses. Mike drove a convertible Porsche, and although Harry was happy to go for a walk on his leash, he was even happier to see Mike come home.

Lest you think this was just some poor woman tolerating me, Stella, who took ceramics classes, made me a really nice little wall hanging with little purple dried flowers. This was not simple tolerance for some bratty kid coming over, this was real visiting! You don't have to believe me though.

When we traveled to Scotland as children, or visited family friends in the United States, we were always welcomed and treated as well as our parents were treated. We would sit and talk to grown ups. They would talk to us.
More often than not, upon our leaving at the end of the evening, we were presented with a gift of some sort, perhaps money to purchase a treat, perhaps an extravagant gift of chocolate. We ate the same food that the grown ups ate, and for the most part, sat at the same table.

One of the nicest couples I have ever met in my life, Gertrude and Ed Patterson, lived in Tucson, AZ and had been friends with my grandparents for years. They had no children of their own. As far back as I can remember, we visited them. I remember the floor plan of their home in the 1960s. I remember the floor plan of the mobile home that they lived in later, and I remember the furniture and its placement. They always had an electric vibrating recliner. They've been gone for over 30 years, but I remember them and always will. I searched for their gravesites the last time I was in AZ, and while I didn't find them in time, I will visit their graves next time. I would even make a special trip to visit their grave sites. Maybe after tax season I will go.

When we traveled to Scotland with my mother, we would visit her friends and relatives, and her mother's friends. I loved going over to my Aunt Sadie's house with or without my mom. Aunt Sadie's husband was Uncle Bill, and they were fabulous people. They had a dog named Roddy, and although I cannot say what type of dog Roddy was, I know he was an awesome jumper and was likely not neutered and was probably hated by other dog owners in the area. Aunt Sadie's electric meter was in a cupboard to the right as you walked in the front door, and one would drop coins into it as needed.

When in Scotland, my mother would always make it a point to visit Mrs. Watson. Mrs. Watson was a friend of my grandmother's, who became a friend of my mother's later in life. The last time I was in Scotland, I traveled alone. My mother told me to be sure to visit Mrs. Watson. I was given Mrs. Watson's address, and I dutifully went to her home, sat on her couch and ate delicious cucumber and tomato sandwiches. It was wonderful.

I can tell you the surnames of every family that we ever had as neighbors. I can almost give you addresses. Tonight, I pulled out carved animals and little wooden dolls from Japan that I received as a small girl from family friends. I recalled having chicken pox and adults bringing me diversions because they cared. And I remember a kimono from Alice Niiya, and these wooden dolls and animals, and the color of her house and her husband's name was Tak (for short) and he worked at the botanical gardens as a horticulturist. I remember taking shoes off in their home without question and the bonsai tree on their coffee table, and the floor plan of their home.

These days, even as an adult, I don't always feel welcome visiting. I can't imagine LD going off for a visit, knocking on someone's door, and going in for a chat. I get bad vibes enough expecting her to say please and thank you, and talking to adults or taking interest in others is pretty close to abuse in this day and age. I really think people are making children socially retarded these days.

A few years ago, we attended a very small church, and while visiting with a family after church, the parents told us that their child was very shy and made excuses for her. This teenager was smiling hugely and sitting on the top of the car. They pretty much told us that she didn't speak, and to be honest, we didn't believe it for a moment.

Today, we visited David's aunt, and I confided that we were trying to get LD to care about other people and to actually listen to others, and not to leave the room to play with animals or to wrestle with dad, and I did hear the comment that L.D. is only 12. When I explained my own background, David's aunt asked how many times I had been molested, doing all that visiting. Zero, I replied.

I wonder if LD could relate the details of childhood friends and neighbors the way I can 35 years later. I doubt it. She hasn't been taught to look past her own nose, and when someone encourages it, half of the people think it is mean to do so and the other half think it is a novelty.

Alcohol might just be the Devil in Anna, TX

amandabrenner — Fri, 26 Oct 2007 23:05:48 -0500

I know I've written about alcohol sales in Texas before, but I am going to do it again.

Texas, unlike California or New York, has some really backwards laws regarding alcohol and what you can do with it, and when and where.

For example, one cannot, even in the 21st century, buy hard alcohol on Sunday in Texas. At least not in a liquor store, I don't know about restaurants, as I rarely ever drink outside the home. Larger liquor vendors build beer and wine stores adjacent to "real" liquor stores so that they can close the liquor part on Sunday and continue to sell beer and wine. If Christmas falls on a Sunday, one cannot buy hard alcohol on the Monday following.

Anna, Texas is a small town in the far northeast reaches of Dallas. It is a nice place, something I've learned since they started to sell liquor.

Anna has new subdivisions, and many rural properties. There are historic businesses, and new stores appearing, like an auto parts chain and a new dollar store. Most of the town is set well off 75, a four lane highway that runs from Dallas to Oklahoma.

So less than two years ago, the town narrowly voted in hard alcohol sales. I didn't learn this by reading it in a newspaper, or by seeing it on television. I didn't see a liquor store ad. Anna didn't have a reputation for alcohol sales, and I would venture a guess that most of the county's residents have no clue.

How did I learn about Anna's "sordid" side then? A friend who lives out that way told me.

So now, we drive up to Anna from McKinney, instead of all the way across Collin County to Denton County. We buy some liquor, maybe eat out in Anna while we are there. They have a rare (for Texas, anyway) Carl's Jr. and we love to eat there. If you go, it is exit 49, and try the jalapeño burger, or if you really want a treat, a Six Dollar Burger (which is actually four dollars and change).

Now, I go up to Anna, and I explore the town. I always thought it was just a Podunk town with an offramp and two truck stops. The Love's Truck Stop has just about everything you could ever need. Plus there's that damned Carl's Jr. that beckons.

When I go up to Anna, I might buy a bottle of alcohol, and drive right back to McKinney, leaving little trace that I had even been there. Another time, I might eat there in Anna, or we might eat there as a family, or I might take something home to eat. I might go for a drive through the countryside looking for small cemeteries where I might take pictures of headstones for a genealogy website for which I volunteer. I consider what it might be like to live out there.

Regardless, I always leave a little something behind: My sales tax dollars.

If I buy a bottle of booze, I leave some sales tax and support the local business.

If I eat at Carl's Jr., or any other restaurant, I leave some sales tax and support the local business.

If I buy a home out there, I'll pay some property taxes and some sales tax.

If in the upcoming election, the prohibitionists outlaw alcohol sales, I will never spend another dime in Anna, Texas. Except perhaps at the Carl's Jr.

The prohibitionists? Yep, 21st century prohibitionists.

Although the liquor stores in Anna are on the frontage road to the highway, and the stores close at 9:00 p.m., and these are beautiful, clean, service-oriented stores with expensive wines and pricey, quality liquors, and the crime rate has not increased in Anna, and there have been ZERO DWIs, and the property values are rising, and the sales tax dollars have increased with only ONE liquor store (and more to follow, one opening tomorrow), the prohibitionists want to vote alcohol sales out of Anna, TX.

We'll find out what happens soon.

I guess if they outlaw the liquor sales, they'll win. Big. They'll show us. They'll run the "riff raff" like us out of town. The ~40-somethings with nice cars, nice incomes, and nice homes. Yes, run us off. And we will give our money back to The Colony, or Addison, or now, Little Elm.

And while we are out spending our money, we will eat in restaurants, buy gas and groceries, and consider living "there", which won't be Anna, TX.

More on maintenance meds...

amandabrenner — Mon, 01 Oct 2007 02:11:39 -0500

One of the things I didn't address when I spouted off about maintenance meds was just on the tip of my tongue.

Let's not forget the antidepressants, okay? Let's not overlook the elephant in the middle of the room.

What percentage of the female population is on antidepressants? Are you on antidepressants?

I've been to the doctor for various reasons, and I would say that 50% of the time it is suggested that I take some sort of daily maintenance medication.

One time, I was prescribed antidepressants. I was actually crying in the doctor's office about my weight, and the doctor suggested that I might be depressed. So she suggested an antidepressant, by name. And I questioned if that antidepressant had a side effect of weight gain. Why yes, it does. So I get another antidepressant, Wellbutrin, which doesn't have the weight gain side effect.

And guess what, Wellbutrin did nothing, NOTHING, for my life. But I can get a three month prescription for it easily. It is easy to just take it, and not think about it.

I think a lot of Americans wear their supposed "conditions", be they depressed, suffer from "ADHD", etc., on their sleeves. They seem really proud to have the disease du jour.

Personally, I strive to be like my parents: In their 70s and they don't take any daily meds.

Gimmee girls

amandabrenner — Thu, 20 Sep 2007 02:49:23 -0500

In one of my classes (yes, I is a student), there is an attractive and athletic young woman. She has a very fit physique and tends to wear clothing that accentuates this, as in short shorts, very fitted jeans, and baby doll shirts. I would guess her to be in her early to mid- 20s.

That is all well and good, but we recently had a homework assignment due, and on the date it was to be completed, this woman breezed into class and announced surprise that this assignment was due. She then produced the worksheets and began to ask, aloud, for the answer to question one.

One of the male classmates obliged.

She then asked for the answer to question two.

Another male classmate obliged.

Question three, same thing.

David tends to lean towards being too helpful, but even he caught on pretty quick.

Here is a woman who would normally not start a conversation with anyone from the class, and in fact, has not started a conversation with anyone, but when convenient, here comes the "friendly" routine. Men can be so gullible, falling for the cutesy behavior when women want something.

Stop it men!

This reminded both of us of the door-to-door magazine salesgirl who batted her eyes at my husband, "Don't you want to help meeeeeee?" Get off my porch, harlot!

I wish men would wise up about this stuff, but men are men, and always will be. And lions will never eat birdseed. That is just the way the world is!

Maintenance meds... I'm onto something but I don't know for sure what.

amandabrenner — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 03:16:58 -0500

Surely at least 50% of the population remembers the days before prescription drugs were marketed directly to the public.

Remember Wonderama in the 1970s, and all those kids singing, "Exercise, exercise, Come on ev'rybody, get your Ritalin!" Oh wait - that song didn't reference Ritalin.

Thinking back to the 1970s and even the early 1980s, who remembers taking what I like to call "maintenance meds"? Seriously, with the number of ads in magazines and on television, am I the only one suspicious?

Look at the new crop of ailments we have these days: Restless Leg Syndrome, chronic insomnia, the ever-popular ADD/ADHD (now in new adult flavor!), acid reflux disease, etcetera, etcetera, and so forth!

Why in the world would pharmaceutical companies market directly to end users on television and in magazines? Aren't our doctors supposed to know about the meds we might take for the ailments we might have? Since when are we supposed to go in and "ask our doctor or pharmacist" about different drugs that may or may not apply to us?

"Maintenance meds", to me, are drugs that we are supposed to take each day in order to live a life that we view as normal. If your great-grandparents are still alive, ask them what daily medications they took in their 40s. If you are in your 40s, like me, ask your parents.

Did you know that pharmaceutical companies shamelessly dole out incentives to doctors who prescribe their products? Vacations, dinners and the like. During my last visit to a doctor, a skimpily dressed young female pharmaceutical saleswoman was dropping off samples and promoting a golf event at one of the local resorts.

Why do pharmaceutical companies only advertise the types of medications that one would take daily for the long term: insulin, heartburn meds, weight loss aids, thyroid pills, ADHD meds, etc. Hrmmmm.... I guess that is where the long-term money is.

Have you read the story about Prilosec and its relationship to Nexium? Some health insurance companies no longer even cover Nexium. I'm not minimizing the value of these drugs, but we should be looking at what makes us "need" these drugs, why did we not need these drugs 25 years ago, and what can we do to avoid the diseases that we are bringing upon ourselves.

What are we doing different now? Is it fast food? Is it people thinking that Chili's is a smart place to eat on a daily basis? Is it that mom is working and everyone things they "deserve" some processed foods?

Is it that some parents can't comprehend that happiness comes from less, not more? Why do we even have a product such as "cereal straws"?

Hello? Is this thing on?

amandabrenner — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 02:43:13 -0500

Just checking, since I can't delete all my spammy trackbacks at the moment.

The Salton Sea

amandabrenner — Mon, 06 Aug 2007 23:43:54 -0500

While visiting California, I decided that I had to visit the Salton Sea.

I'd been there years ago (perhaps the 1970s) with my family. My father was a huge fan of the road trip so we had the pleasure of seeing all those places in between points A and B of any given trip.

Just before this trip, I had the good fortune to catch a Sundance Channel special, Plagues & Pleasures on the Salton Sea. If you cannot catch this special on your local cable channel, catch a screening, or rent it, and I would go so far to say it is worth the $23 bucks to buy it from the website (if you are into such things). The link is a good resource to learn about the history of the sea, and why what happened, happened.

It has been a few days since visiting the sea, and I am still haunted by it. It is beautiful, yet hideous. Peaceful, yet horrifying. I expect it to be on my mind for quite a while.

As one drives through the subdivisions, complete with utilities, streets, and street signs, one notices that all that is missing is the homes. Block after block of homes that never happened sit and decay, or at least the streets do, lined by dead and broken palm trees, and the debris collects. Most of the lots were purchased as investments, so the homes that were meant to line these streets simply never happened. Now, some of the cheapest new construction in the state is taking place on these cracked, decaying streets. There is a moratorium on new homes connecting to the decades-old, failing sewer systems. New homes are going in next to old dumpy homes. There is a desperation about the area, with so many for sale signs and so much spray paint. It looks like a brand new Compton, only cheaper.

Yet for all the building, it doesn't seem like a boomtown. It seems like a huge crap shoot. Will these homes, under $200,000, be worth even that, or are the people building and buying digging themselves into a deep and scary hole?

We drove past a lot where busy construction workers were building a home. A mere few lots down, we stopped to photograph an abandoned and stripped 1970s motor home.

As I stepped around to photograph the back of the motorhome, I was stunned. Beyond the tagging on the motor home, the spray paint cans littered about, there was a very large dead animal arranged next to a pile of brush. It was almost as though a bonfire was planned. I felt an evilness in the area, so I didn't spend the time to take a better photograph.

We followed signage to the Vista Del Mar Estates Beach Club, in one of the neighborhoods where the new houses were popping up. The clubhouse was one of the older buildings, built prior to the demise of the area, complete with whimsical pastel lighting in the planters, and plenty of newish razor wire and chain link fence to protect the contents of the building. Someone had tried to add some modern day festive touches by wrapping the trees with Christmas light strings. Older vehicles and debris littered the parking lot and grounds. "Fax us the details of your event and we'll take care of everything!", the Vista Del Mar Estates Beach Club advertises in a local paper.

With so many abandoned buildings in the area, I wonder what the status is for most of these abandoned lots. Someone, after all, owns these properties. Did the owners just walk away? Who owns this:

Yet with all this going on, there is an air of optimism in the area. New restaurants are opening. We ate at Johnson's Landing, which was impeccably clean, served good food, and was under new ownership. All 35 members of the West Shores High School Class of 2007 were featured in the community newspaper. There is a local chapter of the Red Hat Society, card clubs, food banks, and an Indian casino just opened up on the reservation land across the highway. There is much interest in the various proposals to "save the sea" and opinions can be found in the local papers as well as online.

So the Salton Sea is an interesting place. It is worth a google search, at a minimum, and definitely worth your time to explore if you are in the Imperial Valley area of California.

Ode to William G. Brenner, guinea pig

amandabrenner — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 00:30:30 -0500

He's not gone, he's just on vacation.

You gotta love an animal who ignores you, until he hears the food arrive, at which time he shoots out of his "pigloo" like a circus clown ejected from a cannon.

The wayward apostrophe

amandabrenner — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 22:50:59 -0500

What has happened that makes people so inept at the proper usage of the simple apostrophe?

Sure, I'm not perfect, by any means, but the apostrophe is a rather simple tool. The apostrophe has three uses:

1) to form possessives of nouns
2) to show the omission of letters
3) to indicate certain plurals of lowercase letters.

Apostrophes are NOT used for possessive pronouns or for noun plurals, including acronyms.

My main beef is with the use of the apostrophe for noun plurals. I get even crankier when the apostrophe is applied randomly for some noun plurals, but not others.

I found this example tonight, which prompted me to at last write about this gripe. The Copper Room's happy hour page is a prime example of the random apostrophe. In this example, why do they list martini's, well'tini's, call'tini's, and even premium'tini's, and then - margaritas. Why don't specials, cocktails, and cocktails rate an apostrophe?

I saw a glaring example of the random apostrophe on television the other day, which just made me cringe.

I can understand that perhaps some people don't understand the rules for apostrophes, but I would really like someone to explain the randomness of the whole thing.

That, and why realtors Have To Capitalize The First Letter Of Every Word In A Home's Description.

Google, Gmail, and their "targeted advertising links"

amandabrenner — Sun, 22 Jul 2007 01:02:32 -0500

If you use Gmail, which is Google's free email, then you have probably seen their targeted advertising links. Gmail apparently ads a link on email pages, based upon the contents of the email on the page.

The links vary, except in the case of my spam folder. When I am viewing my spam folder, there is always a link to a recipe for Spam, the canned luncheon "meat" product, top and center of the page. These recipe titles always interest me, in a macabre sort of way:

Spam Vegetable Struedel.
Savory Spam Crescents
Spam Primavera
Spam Breakfast Burritos
French Fry Spam Casserole
Ginger Spam Salad
Spam Skillet Casserole ("broil until golden!)
Spam Quiche

Did you know that Spam is a very popular food in Hawaii?

If we ever move to Hawaii, I will try some of these recipes. Until then, no thanks.

Anthropomorphism week

amandabrenner — Sat, 21 Jul 2007 00:10:23 -0500

Thank the Lord, I think it is finally over! I can't take it anymore!

Roadside tomatoes: Harbingers of doom and destruction

amandabrenner — Mon, 16 Jul 2007 00:42:01 -0500

So David and I drove up to Oklahoma today.

It isn't a long drive to the Red River, which forms the state line separating Texas from Oklahoma. From our home on the far north reaches of Dallas suburbia, it is a straight shot up highway 75 through mostly rural areas. There is a brief blur when passing through the bustling metropolis of Sherman, Texas, and after that it is mostly beautiful green "not much".

This time, we were enroute to meet David's mom for the annual return of LD, following the summertime tradition known as "Week at Grandma's". Along the side of the road, we noticed some white signs with handpainted wording, in the Burma Shave fashion:

"Are you having a good day?"

Then a half mile or so until the next sign...

"Well why not?"

Another half mile...

"You need to get some!"

I speculated that what was "needed" may be the Lord, or perhaps some produce.

The next signs in the series were an assortment of individual fruits and vegetables: Peaches! Corn! Strawberries!

Then we both saw it about the same time:

<insert ominous music where shark is about to eat swimmer>

TOMATOES.

In unison we exclaim: "UH OH!"

We aren't ones to embrace suspicion, nor do we have a history of embracing roadside produce stands. So here is the story:

A couple of years ago, we were enroute to Oklahoma, this time for David's grandfather's wife's funeral. Just south of Durant, Oklahoma, site of a large Indian casino and the corporate offices of Big Lots, we spotted a roadside produce stand. For the first time in my life, I requested that we stop, and I purchased a large paper sack full of nice, ripe tomatoes. Then, we headed north again towards Tulsa.

I was taking photos out the passenger window of the car, when David (the driver - which becomes important in the next sentence) pointed out a large water tower with a huge Big Lots logo on the side. I started to photograph the water tower, oblivious to the fact that David was more engrossed in my photography technique than he was in driving the car.

So I got the picture, and would have taken more, had David not yelled "Oh shit!" and found himself driving off the side of the road and straight for a bank of trees and probably some sort of creek. He corrected the steering and got us back onto the road, but then who knows what happened but the results were that we rolled the car and ended up in the median.

Fortunately, no one was injured worth mentioning, but let me tell you two facts learned that day:

1. Anything in a vehicle in a rollover accident will be thrown all over the car.
2. A paper sack full of tomatoes will not retain its contents during a rollover accident.

So, the end result of this accident was David and me standing in the median next to the vehicle. Me with my purse and thermos and camera, and my tomatoes, repackaged in the ripped paper sack.

As I stood there, watching what was probably the local newspaper's sole combination reporter and photographer come and go with no juicy story or gruesome death scene photos (what a waste of time!), I was reminded of when I was a little kid of about nine or ten, and my family was returning from the usual car trip vacation. A deja vu of sorts. We were returning home to Los Angeles from some Central California vacation, when my dad abruptly pulled the car over to the side of the road and ordered us out of the vehicle with great urgency. Our car's engine was on fire!

Right after we all got out, the flames were licking out the sides of the hood. It was quite spectacular, with the big gas guzzler's 1970s style electrical systems burning and the car's horn blaring all on its own, and so many passerby stopping to help and then the fire department showed up. And after it all, my mom's recollection of the night was standing by the side of the road with a paper sack full of roadside tomatoes, with no idea who had handed them to her.

So, maybe I am crazy, but I don't think roadside tomatoes are a good thing. Warning! Avoiding roadside tomatoes can be good for your health (or at least your vehicle's longevity)!

"Tackle your Hunger" with over 1LB of fat and whatnot!

amandabrenner — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 03:19:46 -0500

It's the P'zone from Pizza Hut! I have some coupons that we received in our mailbox. "Tackle your hunger", it reads, "Over 1LB. stuffed full of pizza toppings", and all that for only $5.99.

The picture in the ad shows some ooey-gooey cheeses, sausage nuggets, green pepper and red onion oozing out of a double crusted calzone thing, with cheese on top, and dipping sauces looming in the background.

The P'Zone in itself is not an evil thing. The acceptance of this much food and fat being intended for one person is an evil thing.

At 1220 - 1680 calories and 70% - 132% daily fat value per P'zone (per Pizza Hut's website), this should be the entree part of the meal for a family of four. Instead, this is what the average American would view as an entree for one person.

That seems to be the way that restaurants have gone though, people just order for themselves. When we were kids, we would actually go out for pizza, order when we got to the restaurant, and then sit down and wait for the pizza to cook. We would talk while the pizza was cooking. We would all share one pizza.

We'll be going to an old favorite Italian restaurant of mine this summer. I think we'll order one pizza that everyone can enjoy. The bill will most likely be reasonable, and most likely no one will leave with a grossly distended stomach, or a doggie bag. We'll have to talk about something else rather than the gigantic portions on our plates. But I'll bet we will enjoy it just the same with no psychological scars from not getting too much food, or from actually sharing something.

I'm so old fashioned.

Remember when I mentioned I hate Wal-Mart?

amandabrenner — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 00:20:13 -0500

Well I still do. Sometimes I just forget that for a while.

I don't like the way they run the store, and I am often irritated by the people who shop there.

A brand new Wal-Mart opened near our house. It is supposed to be nice, but it is pretty much just annoying. I've been in a few times and it is just maddening.

First of all, they have a completely different floor plan than any of the other Wal-Marts. I think it is supposed to be a cross between a typical crappy Wal-Mart Supercenter and the flagship upscale Plano Supercenter, which has laminate flooring for that down home feel. Plus at Christmas, the Plano location had bigger poinsettias. Whoop-de-do. It still has an oil soaked parking lot, and it is still dirty.

So anyway, good luck finding a 40 pound sack of bird seed at the new Wal-Mart Supercenter.

I noticed that the cashiers at this new Wal-Mart are no more adept at discouraging people with 400 items from using the 10 item or less checkout. Of course there is no self-checkout either, so I was at the mercy of their cowardly cashier.

Last time I was in there, I waited more than 15 minutes in the checkout line. The lady in front of me spent over $100 and didn't buy a single item of unprocessed food. How can you spend over $100 and not buy a single vegetable? She had a cart full of convenience items such as 4 oz "Go-Gurts" and Capri Sun, and other pseudo-healthy nonsense.

What modern day mother with an IQ over 65 believes that Capri Sun is good for kids? Is it the picture of the sun on the label that misleads them? Read the label. Capri Sun is just soda sans the carbonation.

The lady's kid was madly comparing every candy bar on display in the check out aisle. All this while consuming a "Go-Gurt" taste sensation. It looked like he was trying to comparison shop for the largest candy bar in the aisle. And, at Wal-Mart, have you noticed that the checkout aisles are stocked with the super-sized candy bars and snacks? Big junk for low prices.

The healthiest thing I saw in the cart was ice cream. She had several gallons of Blue Bell. Surely that was dinner.

The woman had a selection of what we used to call "California Compact" six packs of canned soda. These are those six ounce cans of soda, what I call "the most economically idiotic" way to buy soda. Can you really not use a glass and just buy a two-liter bottle?

It's a little more logical than, say, those single serving packages of Pringles. At least you can put some Pringles in a zip lock instead of buying the predetermined single-size packs. Or "cup holder" packs of cookies. Sure the label says six servings, but once you open the container, you know it is really one really sad, big serving.

Anyway, I'm hating Wal-Mart again, and kicking myself for going there. Wal-Mart sucks!

Sons of Hollywood - Thankfully the "son" has set

amandabrenner — Wed, 16 May 2007 01:47:39 -0500

I expected it to be bad, and it didn't disappoint.

I admit that I am a huge fan of reality TV. I love watching addicts getting intervened upon (my favorite!), celebrities of yesteryear living with other has-beens, Bradys wedding models, etc.

But even I knew that Sons of Hollywood - featuring Sean Stewart (son of Rod), Randy Spelling (son of Aaron), and their agent David Weintraub - would not be good.

First of all, even the average American male in his early 20s is neither mature enough nor interesting enough to watch for more than three minutes, let alone 30 minutes. Add in Spelling and Stewart, who perhaps have been surrounded a bit too much with hangers-on telling them they are great. Add to the mix parents who have probably not placed making their kids into likeable, independent human beings high on the priority list. Hey look - pathetic, albeit rich, losers!

So I watched it a few times and then gave up. Then I noticed it didn't air last Sunday night. I did a search on IMDB and lo and behold, it is canceled. What a surprise. Also a surprise was how many people agreed with me about the loser quotient of the show.

How can you expect to be a winner if you are in your 20s and you still live off Daddy's name?

Worst show ever!

Paris Hilton and jail, and why should this matter?

amandabrenner — Thu, 10 May 2007 01:43:28 -0500

I've been reading the "news" stories regarding Paris Hilton and her upcoming stint in jail for violating her probation orders.

A lot of people think that this is hardly newsworthy. After all, what has Paris Hilton done that we should so obsess over every detail of her life? And there is another camp that feels that Paris Hilton is someone to be admired, and contributes much to society. The latter camp feels that she is only human and should get a break while the former thinks that she should pay the same price as the rest of us.

So why should this matter?

What seems to have disappeared is the segment of the American population who perceives themselves to be middle class. I'm not saying that the middle class has gone anywhere, but there are a lot of people out there, especially young people, who think that they are somehow on the same plane as Paris Hilton.

I don't know why this is but I suspect that it is due to at least three relatively recent factors: The dual income family, cable television, and the internet.

The dual income family has rapidly turned our society into one of excess money, then a sense of entitlement, which has created a sense of need. And, we are in our second generation of needy people. Our children need pricy clothes, must have cars at age 16, and compete with other children for the "best" birthday party. Parents brag about the luxuries that they present to their children.

Cable television has presented us with an almost unlimited number of stations on which to broadcast the lives of the rich and famous. Then, we have the lives of the shiftless offspring of the rich and famous. So, we have MTV, which was music videos, which begat reality TV and music news shows, which also begat VH1 for older people, which begat multiple other VH channels as did MTV. So much space to fill.

And, beyond the music channels, we have A&E, which used to be Arts & Entertainment channel. Now it is usually neither arts nor entertainment and is mostly just reality poo. But that begat the Biography channel and the space to be filled told two friends and so on, and so on, and so on...

So let's fill MTV's extra channels with "My Super Sweet 16", a show about over the top 16th birthday parties. Not just the parties, but the planning, and the money spent, and the backbiting and the parentally sponsored cattiness and nastiness and exclusionary behavior. Oh, look, your child can pretend to be like these children and you can feel successful and rich by facilitating that over the top party for only $5,000 or $10,000. Plus the car, that you were going to finance anyway. Never mind the fact that the parties on "My Super Sweet 16" often run into the hundreds of thousands of dollars, for many, the concept of a dollar has gone by the wayside and the high of $10,000 is the same as $100,000, especially on credit.

Then, we have the internet, where there is even more room for incessant blathering about perceptions of money, as well as the ability to pretend to be whomever you choose... on the internet, practically everyone is rich. And, on the internet, there is plenty of room for photos of the rich and famous and every single thing they do.

So, here we have a second generation of kids who have no clue what things cost, especially if you charge those things, and then make the leap with me if you will... think they are not much different than Paris Hilton.

Do not block arsonist!

amandabrenner — Sat, 21 Apr 2007 22:40:33 -0500

This is one of my favorite warning signs.

The positioning of the arms and shoulders of the running man makes it clear that he is guilty of arson. In fact, I've never seen a guiltier-looking stick figure!

And, taking into account the appearance of the nasty Walmart store to which this warning sign was affixed, no jury would convict him!

A helicopter full of peas!

amandabrenner — Sat, 14 Apr 2007 01:58:17 -0500

Well, how in the world did this happen?

Popular opinion says it was due to lack of parental supervision and the demise of the family dinner. I tend to agree.

This is another ad from one of my women's magazines, aimed at moms. The product is Pediasure, a "nutrition" beverage aimed (at least according to their advertisements) at parents who let their kids rule the roost.

This ad is less annoying than the last I saw from the Pediasure folks though. The last was the mother pushing her child in the cart through the grocery store. Each time the mother picked up something food-like, the kid complained that she didn't like it. "But I don't like chicken... But I don't like brocolli..." And at the end, the child drinks a Pediasure beverage with a devilish triumphant look upon her little evil face.

But, back to the current ad.

Children who have a sit-down dinner with the family on the average night are 86% less likely to put their peas in a toy helecopter. Okay, I made that up. I'll bet the percentage is actually higher though.

Did you know it can take an average child up to ten exposures to a food before they develop a taste for it? How would a child learn to like vegetables if the moment disinterest was expressed, a sweet beverage was substituted for that vegetable?

"Well, Ricardo, since you don't want to eat your peas, here is a chocolate sugar shake for you instead..."

What is that teaching? That is teaching the child to eat more sugar. Not just sugar today, but sugar tomorrow and next year. Vitamin enriched sugar is still sugar.

What if, instead of cramming a vitamin-enriched sugar shake into the mouths of babes, we let them eat some peas when they are good and hungry?

LD had a huge dislike of cottage cheese. I kept giving her a spoon or two of the rancid, curdled mess, and now I can't keep up with the demand. I buy the 55 gallon drum at Sam's Club and I still have to cut her off. If this doesn't prove that kids develop tastes over time, I don't know what does.

One thing I do know is that for the average healthy kid, Pediasure doesn't seem like a smart alternative to real food. Just my opinion, of course.

Today's target: Poor, innocent yogurt

amandabrenner — Sat, 03 Mar 2007 01:44:15 -0600

Today, I took a moment to "enjoy" a cup of yogurt.

Let's just get this out of the way right now: A "cup" of yogurt these days only refers to the fact that yogurt usually comes packaged in something shaped like a cup. It is more often than not, however, packaged in servings smaller than an 8 ounce cup. Most likely is the 6 ounce cup or even the 4 ounce cup.

Okay, but onward.

Today, while eating some Kroger store brand "carb master" yogurt, I realized that the texture and product density was a far cry from the yogurt that I enjoyed as a child. Then, since I was supposed to be thinking about something completely different and worthwhile, I began to reminisce about the yogurt my mother used to buy me as a child.

Thinking back to the mid-1970s or so, I recall choosing yogurt in (a) plain, (b) blended or (c) fruit on bottom. I was a fruit on bottom kind of kid. Then I reminisced even further back, back to the Christmas when Grandma sent my mother yet another "As Seen on TV" gift, the Salton Yogurt Maker.

Fast forward to the average grocery store yogurt department of today, and look at the dizzying array of products. There are still plain, blended and fruit on the bottom, but let's not forget "lite" and then fat free (two distinctly different products), and then custard style. What about yogurt for kids in bright colors and sugar-cereal flavors (think Trix)? What about yogurt for people on the go, aptly named "Gogurt"? And then there is the incredibly pricey yogurt for babies, "Yo Baby". And then we have the drinkable yogurts, and so forth.

And if you look the next time you go to the store, you'll most likely find that the younger the targeted consumer, the higher the cost per ounce, and the higher the sugar content will be.

So, after all this about yogurt, the one thing I noticed was that the carb master "yogurt" was not actually yogurt. Nowhere on the label did it state it was yogurt. Rather, I had a serving of vanilla "dairy blend". No wonder the density and texture was "off" to say the least. And I've been eating this product for well over a year.

It really just goes to show how out of touch you can get with what is the real thing. Sort of like chicken nuggets and say... chicken.

Ads about food and kids... and food for kids

amandabrenner — Sat, 17 Feb 2007 23:49:01 -0600

This ad was in one of my women's magazines. I was thumbing through the magazine over lunch, not really looking for anything other than recipes to clip and save.

It is an interesting ad, in my opinion, so I tore it out and saved it.

Why is the little girl running after the mother in what appears to be a parking lot? The posture of the mother is such that she isn't even looking towards the child.

I see this a lot, where parents are out doing "stuff" with their kids, especially eating, and there is no interaction taking place. No eye contact, no conversation, no nothing.

A prime real-life example of this was earlier this week, on Valentine's day. We went out to dinner with LD, and there was a family at a table near ours. The parents ate in silence, while the infant lay in a car seat, kicking the heck out of her mother, who didn't even let on that she was being kicked. The other child, a girl of about four, ate her food while watching a DVD on a portable unit they had set up in front of her. The adults ate in silence. When they were getting ready to leave, the older child took her coat, slammed it on the floor and jumped around on it. Still there was little interaction between parents and children, or even parent and parent.

Back to the McDonalds ad now.

The ad describes the food as though it is of premium quality. I think a lot of parents are really gullible if they think that the meal described in the ad is healthy. First of all, the child's meal is nothing but fat and sugar. Apples are already a sugar (although natural), and the caramel dipping sauce makes them nothing short of dessert. The nuggets, although white meat, are still just fried chicken.

Let me sidetrack yet again regarding chicken vs. all white meat chicken. I am not an advocate of eating the dregs of the chicken, or miscellaneous chicken parts ground up to look like something else, but frying up some "white meat" chicken is still fried chicken. Eating dark meat has tremendous advantages, including valuable nutients needed for joint health. And we shouldn't train an entire generation that dark meat is bad. We should train them that fat and grease are bad, and that anything is bad in excess.

I showed David the ad and asked him what he thought. His observations were entirely different than mine.

His first thought was, "Where is the father?" As a father, he makes time to attend LD's events whenever possible so I can understand his question. With it being the child's first ballet recital and the one of the mother's best days ever, you would think that dad may be in there somewhere.

Another observation of David's was that the food is shown served on plates, instead of the way we would normally receive fast food: served in cardboard and waxed paper.

Also, he noticed that mom seems to think the day revolves around her. Not the child. All great ballerinas wave to their mothers? She waved to me...

Some parents can come across as selfish asses sometimes. I guess often enough that McDonalds would feature them in an ad.