It's a serious question that I think about often. I'd like to hear what others think.

Of course, in spite of caring to hear others' thoughts on the matter, don't think for a moment that I am going to keep my own theories to myself!

What I perceive is that more and more, people are very concerned with what others have, to the detriment of their satisfaction with their own lives. They talk about money and houses and cars, and the best home theater, with anyone who will listen. They talk about salaries and what things cost, and everyone knows approximately what everything costs these days anyway. Thank you, Internet. Thank you, Public Records.

The lack of gratitude permeates every aspect of our lives.

Our children are not happy with what they have. They've likely been raised with everything they've wanted, or they at least know and hang out with children who have been raised with everything. Most kids don't say "thank you", aren't expected to say "thank you", and quite frankly, aren't thankful. If they don't have every whim satisfied, or know other kids who have every whim satisfied, they can watch countless hours of MTV where children of celebrities and car dealership owners are ungrateful for birthday parties which cost in excess of a half a million dollars and involve proudly being cruel towards kids they don't like. And their parents seem clueless in teaching them gratitude. Or shame. Or empathy.

Two working parents, some with credit cards, often equals owning (or appearing to own) whatever they want, and why should children not have what they want as well? The line of the haves and the have nots has been so blurred by the credit society. We can all have it all with credit cards, home equity loans, etc. Entitled parents equals entitled children.

I remember the first Christmas with LD. We didn't have a lot of money between the two of us due to some mistakes, but we went out and purchased quite a few gifts for her. At least she would have packages to open and she would have joy. Well, maybe not. After she unceremoniously ripped the paper off each gift, she moved onto the next, barely looking at what was given to her. At the end, she looked around, and asked, "Is that all?" Never mind that no one else was opening gifts.

It took years to teach her gratitude, or at least teach her to fake gratitude, which had to be taught by NOT giving to her, or having her LOSE something, but never just by explaining or talking nicely to her.

Now granted, she was just not quite six, but I clearly remember writing thank you letters for gifts and purchasing gifts for others at that age (and I still have some of those precious cherished gifts from friends and family alike), and here she was, acting as a miserable slighted child instead of one being taught to appreciate and cherish not just possessions, but the fact that someone thought of her, sometimes from far away.

No, I don't expect children to be perfect, but I do expect the adults in their lives to teach them gratitude from early on, as soon as they can grasp the concept, and it just isn't happening anymore, and I believe that this is because people who are not grateful cannot teach gratitude.

And I am also guilty. As we collect more possessions, and surround ourselves with more possessions, we start to think we need those possessions, but in reality we need very little.

When I moved into my own apartment in the Houston area after a failed cohabitational relationship, I was able to be very happy in a one bedroom apartment in a nice area. Eventually I moved into a two bedroom apartment in a nice area. I had decent things, and everything I needed and even some of what I wanted. I had good friends and a decent job and a nice boss.

But that apartment, which was once happiness for me, would take some serious getting used to these days. For as my standard of living has increased, I've learned to turn my nose up at anything less almost every step of the way, and I surround myself with people who live like me and have as much as me or more. Where once I could be happy with my life with a linoleum kitchen floor, I've learned that I like tile better, and I've learned that I like pricey big tile even more and now simple 12" tile doesn't bring out the same gratitude that it once did. And rightfully, I feel shame.

How many things can we look at from a completely different direction, therefore bringing joy to our lives instead of thinking of our circumstances as a burden or punishment?

In my September 1, 2008 issue of Woman's Day, there is an article titled "No More Drowning in Debt!" by Mary Hunt. Interesting is Ms. Hunt's first rule to eliminating debt is the "10-10-80 Rule". She says to give away ten percent, save ten percent, and live the best life you can on eighty percent of your net income. Ms. Hunt also acknowledges that this is not advice that you would hear from a traditional licensed financial advisor. Her point for the first ten percent being given away is that giving to others who are less fortunate releases gratitude for what you have. The point of the ten percent savings is that knowing you have money in the bank quells the fear of being broke. Giving and saving promote contentment.

Personally, I think it is my best interest and the best interest of my family to regain gratitude. Perhaps it is time to rethink the rote meal blessing for those of us who practice it. Perhaps it is time to think of "we" instead of "me". There are a billion ways to do this.

What do you think?