No complaining here!

No ma'am.

More happy, positive thoughts:

Who can complain about a barrel of kitties!

"I know it must be hard for news agencies to report on someone being shot in the ass. I don't think there are many ways to say "shot in the ass" without offending or sounding ridiculous...so I suppose I shouldn't laugh so hard..."

Okay, July 2004 aint so bad either: Mandapants

In airline travel, or any regulated or social setting, there are expressed rules, and then there are implied rules.

I've already mentioned our somewhat recent American Airlines flight from Dallas to Boston, featuring the F*#%ing Bistro Bag.

The flight to Boston wasn't so bad, but coming back to Dallas was a doozy. Some of our fellow passengers were interesting, to say the least. See if you can guess which type of rule, implied or expressed, was violated during this flight.

In chronological order:

1. The couple across the aisle from us had a cute little baby. While taxiing for takeoff, the couple removed the baby from the strapped in car seat to change poopy diaper in front of everyone. If we crash during takeoff, the last thing I want on me is baby poop.

2. Cute Baby's Mom didn't turn off her cell phone and had to be told individually by the flight attendant to put her tray table up. Hello!

3. While in flight, Cute Baby's Mom watched a DVD movie on her laptop with her mouse pointer in the middle of the screen the entire time! Stop it!

4. Feeding time: I kid you not, Cute Baby's Mom whipped out a booby twice during the flight.

5. Across the aisle and one row behind us, Mr. Important Businessman was playing some tetris-looking game on his large shoebox-sized antique cell phone during the frigging flight. I saw this with my own two eyes while coming back from the bathroom. The flight attendant asked, "That thing isn't ON, is it?" "Not now" he replied. Flight attendant asked, "Was it on?!?" Mr. Important Businessman replied, "It's a computer".

6. While on descent into DFW, Mr. Oblivious Moron one row in front of us had to be specially told to secure his belongings. He stands up, opens the overhead compartment, opens up his baggage and puts his book away. Then, he leans down and picks up his laptop and stows that away up above. Then, just when you thought he couldn't have anymore crap spread about the airplane, and with the overhead compartment still open, he picks up a bunch of CDs and starts alphabetizing them to file in his stowed bag.

Upon landing and taxiing, Mr. Important Businessman started blabbing on his huge cell phone and Mrs. Cute Baby's Mom whipped out the other breast.

Let me off of this ship of fools.

If you google "Herd of Biscuits", you'll find a really great blog. Or, you can just click here for Mandapants.

I like this blog immensely, especially the archives going back to 2001 and 2002, but in spite of the name similarity, it isn't me.

It is, however, home of one of the greatest blog quotes of all time:

"If your cats are sitting on the floor at your feet while you type at the computer, it’s quite funny to call them your “herd of biscuits.” Let’s forget for a moment that two animals are not really considered a herd…"