I was in the new Mo'Kinney WalMart Supercenter last night. I'll explain all that later. But while waiting in the customer service crap return line, I saw this.

It's a little girls' bike, and the "theme" is Slumber Party.

When I was a kid, "Slumber Party" meant that we would go to some other girl's house and act like little girl donkeys, while eating pizza rolls and watching PG rated movies and singing along to soundtracks from Grease and disco records. Eventually, we'd all fall asleep.

 Sometimes a slumber party meant freezing another girl's bra and eating someone's mom's diabetic candy (the candy was my idea). I remember girls waiting for me to fall almost asleep and asking me who I had a crush on while dropping my hand into a bowl of warm water. How anticlimactic that I had a crush on someone named "Guy". How generic can you get?

Apparently, now "SlumberParty" means that you ride your bike out into the night full of pedophiles. At least if someone tries to grab you, like LD said the other day, "I can use my bike as a weapon to throw at him".

What I told LD is that if someone tries to grab her off her bike, I will kill that person with our lawn mower or weedwacker since I am usually out there doing the yard while LD is thinking she is free of my watchful, evil lawncare eye.

Maybe groups of young girls ride their SlumberParty bikes into the sunset like transport for so many biker gang members.

I used to have a 1976 Captain Fantastic pinball machine. Pinball machines used to have a wide variety of themes, I guess like kids bikes of today. That's the only other place I can remotely imagine seeing the theme of "SlumberParty".

I think the "Slumber Party" pinball machine would have a picture of girls with big boobs in bikini tops and fluffy high heeled slippers having a pillow fight.

Kids and bikes: they ain't what they used to be.