Whatever the reason, we appreciate his cheery face!

"Yay!" he seems to be saying. "Don't forget to floss!"

Here is another treasure from our friends at Tuesday Morning:

Radish Baby!

Radish Baby is scary. In an already cruel-enough world, radish baby is cursed in that while not yet ripe, she(?) has root hair.

Someone out there most likely quit their day job to make Five Inch Grape Baby and Radish Baby.  Perhaps they were encouraged by a sweet and well-meaning husband who told them how "cute" these rotten vegetable items are (explaining the $10 retail "compare to" price).

In our house, you'll find things like Radish Baby laying forgotten in the bottom of the produce drawer from time to time, or in the pile of things to return for a refund.

I hate the Lean Pockets commercials. They all have the same premise:

The wife cannot find her Lean Pockets brand sandwiches. She asks her husband, who is multitasking by cramming the Lean Pockets into his piehole while either washing the windows or fixing the sink/garbage disposal, "Honey, have you seen my Lean Pockets?"

Simp-like, he looks at what he is eating, muses to himself, "Lean Pockets", tells his wife "No!" and then crams the remainder of the evidence into his mouth.  Then, the wife catches him by opening the window he is washing, or looking down at him through the drain hole in the sink.  The kicker is, when she catches him in his big lie, he shrugs and smirks at her, evidence still in mouth!

Eating Lean Pockets is no big deal.  Lying is a big damned deal.  Notice that she asks, "Have you seen my Lean Pockets?"  Pockets - plural.  So basically, he has been cramming these all day, and then he lies about it.  He has no trouble letting the kids or the dog take the blame, or letting his wife think she is losing her marbles.

While I agree that the best crimes involve evidence that can be disposed of by eating, I really hate that sneaky pathological liar of a husband.

If I caught my husband lying to me, even about something so trivial as Lean Pockets, I would become a raving maniac (and this would not be the first time).  But of course, on television, men (especially dad-type men) are idiots.  I think it would be cool if they made a Lean Pockets commercial where after he lies and smirks, the wife pours boiling water on him through the sink he is working on or sprays him with pepper spray through the window he is cleaning.  Then she could shrug and smirk.

His mother should have done that a long time ago.

Can anyone explain this?  I found this in a basket at Tuesday Morning, one of those froofy "bargain" home decor-type stores.  Except I found this on Saturday afternoon.  It's tag states: 5" grape baby.

Is this the result of uneducated heathen women drinking wine while pregnant?  Is this one of those genetically engineered hybrid fruits you read about from time to time?  Did the devil ring our doorbell, and we let him in?

It's kind of scary, not just because of its appearance, but because the "compare at" retail price is $10.  I think the cashier knew that I bought it to make fun of it, because I made sure to ask if it was a final sale before I paid for it, 'cause you know, "I'm not sure if it is going to work with my decor," wink wink. I bet she won't be surprised to see me asking for my $3.99 back.

So, I hope you like it, because I bought it for you.

Some commercials are funny.  Some are dumb.  Some are boring.  Then, some are just kinda evil, offensive, socially irresponsible and void of all redeeming qualities.  Know what I mean?

It is time for the annual Kay Jewelers Mother's Day assault on parenting values.  I just looked on Kay Jewelers' web site and they are everywhere in the U.S. so you've all probably seen this:

The cute little girl with the mason jar of allowance dregs asks Daddy if she has enough to buy the forty carat diamond mother's day ring.  Daddy replies that she has "just enough"!  Flash to Mother's Day, Mommy beaming, and the little girl proudly proclaiming, "I got it all by myself!"

Now, WHOA!  Either there is something legitimately wrong with Daddy, like he has suffered a brain injury or something, but more likely, daddy is just a liar.

And, that is the problem.

Call me mean (and you'll have to get in line with everyone else), but why is the fact that the kid looks like an adorable little angel justification for being dishonest?

And, why are fathers on TV so often spineless idiots who need to be taken care of even more so than the children (a la Steven Keaton on Family Ties)?

I remember when LD was five or six and had just begun to receive an allowance.  Knowing that the idea of giving was a foreign concept to LD, yet being in the mood for self-torture, I asked, "What are you going to get your Daddy for his birthday?"

LD's face lit up (awesome response, provoking a wicked-stepmommy-did-something-right-for-a-change satisfaction moment).  We happened to be in a waiting room at the time, so LD picks up a magazine for ideas, and generously selects a Jaguar.  I don't think it was an X-Type either.  I am okay that the kid has no idea of what things cost yet, but I'm also not going to lie so I tell LD that the Jag is a nice thought, but it would take approximately 578 years of allowance at the current rate to buy the Jag and Dad's birthday is only about a month away so we need another plan.

What we ended up doing was taking some awesome pictures at the park and then LD bought a neato frame at the dollar store with her own money, and Daddy is still driving the Pathfinder instead of a Jag (but has an super photo of LD on his desk at the office).

In the world according to TV, I should have financed the Jag, then financed the world's biggest ribbon to put on top, and had LD give that to her dad so that she could proclaim to the world for the next five years that she bought it all by herself.  Maybe I could get a second and third job, as Christmas comes once a year as well, and after a Jag, no little dollar store gew gaw or homemade trinket is going to do.

The Kay Jewelers commercial wouldn't annoy me so much, except that there are actually parents out there who think this is a realistic way to raise kids (these parents are also known as idiots).  That cute lying overrides honesty and an opportunity to teach life skills.  The kids of some of those parents go to school with LD.  LD's school interacts with those parents. LD's school interacts with me like I am one of those parents.  Then, I have to take time out of my day to develop a peaceful, yet underhanded revenge plot that I really don't have the time to carry out.

Thanks, Kay Jewelers!