I've lost my sense of humor.  I don't know where to find it.  And it is costing me relatedness to my wife, my daughter, and my coworkers.  It hasn't hit my friendships yet because I don't have very many friendships to maintain - you'll see why later.

I have to get it back.

I have been in several conversations over the last few weeks and I've noticed that I am taking everything people say way too literally.  If it is terribly obvious they are being silly or funny, I might get it.  However, if they are subtle, I'm not likely to get it and I respond as if they have suddenly become complete gits.

For example, yesterday I get a call at my desk from a coworker.  The call is coming from a conference room.  I know this because I am one of the fortunate few to have a display phone where I work.

Me: "This is David."
Coworker: "Heheh - sucker!"
Me: "Wha?"
Coworker: "...we're calling from a conference room."
Me: "Oh.  I see.  I should know better than to answer a call from a conference room. That makes me a sucker." Not only do I state the extremely obvious, I don't even laugh.  This was said with perfect deadpan delivery.
Coworker (realizing only partially that I've lost my sense of humor): "Yea.  Well, we've got a question. Do you remember when so-and-so wrote the maintenance screens?"
... a couple sentences later...
Coworker: "So what do you think about working for Carlos?"
Me (Getting tired of the pleasantries and wanting to get to business for some stupid reason):  "We don't need to get into that now."
Coworker (realizing my impaired condition a little more fully): "I'm just kidding.  Carlos is sitting right here with us."

Later in this conversation, I become a complete asshole and insult the guy who called me.  I don't mean to hurl insults.  I'm just one of those people that try to make my insults sound funny, but they are too close to the truth to really be funny.  Even to everyone else.  The room just goes silent while everyone thinks, "How rude! What an asshole.  I wonder what he thinks of me?" (Well that last part is a bit self-serving.  I don't know if people care what I think of them.)  You'd think I would learn to not cut so close to the bone someday...but alas, no... This is a problem that has plagued me since I was a teenager.

Several years ago at a bar, before I knew Amanda, I was being my usual socially inept self.  My girlfriend at the time was one of those social butterflies with a bunch of friends that went out to bars on a regular basis.  I was talking to a male friend of hers who was complaining about a female friend of hers because she apparently didn't like him very much.  My ability to insult while trying to be funny once again rears it's ugly head:

Girlfriend's Friend: "I don't know what her big deal is.  Why wouldn't she want to go out with me?"
Me: "Maybe it's because you won't stop talking about yourself."
GF's F: "..." This was the first time I had ever heard this person shut up.
Me: "..." I leave the area - time to wreak havoc with someone else's ego. 

So, this is why I don't have many friends.  I come across as a pompous know-it-all jerk.  The friends I do have are the ones who don't take me or themselves seriously enough to get upset when I inadvertently point out a blatant truth.  Every know and then I get in touch with the ugly side of me and I take responsibility for it for a while.  Sometimes things get better.  Sounds like it is time to do that again.

Now, if I could just find my sense of humor...