The other night, David and I were out for our evening walk.

Our neighbornood consists of three streets, laid out a lot like a saguaro cactus.

On the eastern-most cactus limb, we came across a fast-walking cat.

Mrow, mrow, mrow, it said, as it walked very briskly.

David reached down to pet it. "Is it in heat?", I asked?

He replied that he didn't think so.

The cat proceeded to change direction and walk with us. Not only that, but it proceeded to walk in front of us and throw itself down in front of David's feet. ...Over and over and over again...

I will tell you without exaggeration that the cat walked with us for 1.2 miles, throwing itself in front of us all the way. It also said, "Mrow" the entire way.

I love kitties, but this cat was flat out annoying.

To be mean, David trapped it and we fed it some tuna.

It parked itself in the wheelwell of my car.

David has another tacky gift exchange at his office this year.

Every time I hear about a tacky gift exchange, I think of Scott B. down in Houston and how he didn't quite "get it".

I thought we laid out the ground rules quite well. But, Scott brought a nicely wrapped set of Christmas dinnerware, and he ended up with an inflatable "love sheep". He was really mad!

I told David I would come up with a tacky item for his get together, and when I saw Fishy Cat, I knew it was the right thing.

I found Fishy Cat at the yucky neighborhood WalMart, and to tell you the truth, I was a little embarassed. He is kinda cute if you look past the fish in his crotch.

I put him on the conveyor at the checkout and the cashier started to MEW as he rang up my purchases. That wasn't a great sign.

I will tell you that normally, I don't break things, but the very minute I walked into the parking lot, Fishy Cat broke free of his plastic bag and rolled away.

His ears broke off.

It was tacky gift exchange revenge. I'm serious. I never break anything.

When I went back in, I planned to pay for another Fishy Cat but the cashier wasn't having it. He called it an "even exchange", even though I told him, "I broke off his ears!"

I did a little online poll about what should go in Fishy Cat. The overwhelming response was that Fishy Cat was a panty jar. I recommended some Swedish fish or some tuna and sardines.

David recommended some homemade cookies with sardine head decor.

What ended up inside Fishy Cat was a package of WalMart lemon cookies.

Let me say it: Anticlimactic.