Tuesday is officially date night in BrennerWorld.

Last week, David and I decided to see The Incredibles at our local multiplex.

We opted for the 10:20 P.M. show. After all, at that late hour, there would be fewer roaming bands of screaming children, but any children out at that hour would be more demon-spawn-like. Quantity or quality, you take your chances when it comes to unruly children.

We decided to check out the new Chipotle restaurant in town first, since we had so much time to burn.

Did you know that Chipotle is part of McDonalds?

So we each had a huge burrito McNugget the size of a chubby newborn baby, and headed off to the cineplex.

We just missed the start of the 9:55 P.M. show. Bummer because when we stuck our heads in, that theater was totally empty! (Except for our heads).

We went to the 10:20 P.M. showing. There was one couple in the theater. We selected seats a respectful number of rows ahead of them and settled in for the half hour wait.

A third couple entered the theater.

With a whopping six of us in the whole place, why in the world they had to sit directly in front of us, I do not know. And, why she had to hand feed him popcorn is the second mystery of the evening.

Of course, now I had to nonchalantly move away from the distracting people encroaching on my personal space! But I did, and managed to enjoy the movie.

I highly recommend The Incredibles. I don't recommend hurrying to catch the stupid sheep short ahead of it though. I also highly recommend the burritos at McDonalds Chipotle.

I've worked desk jobs for so many years, I cannot count.

Typing, typing, tippy tap on an IBM selectric typewriter in the 1980s and part of the 1990s.

10-key adding machines.

Then, the computer!

Years and years of this with no problems at all.

What does me in every time?

Painting the house.

Did someone mention children's nutrition?

I am appalled by what many children are fed today.

At school, children get a lot of fried foods. The good people at the Tyson Chicken company make sure that kids get a lot of nuggets, fingers, patties, and other new chicken parts that you'd never heard of til the 1980s.

Beyond Tyson being in the school lunch room, Tyson wants you to buy their processed chicken for home use as well. Schools encourage parents to buy Tyson processed chicken products and send the proofs of purchase into the school. Tyson then gives some paltry/poultry payoff to the school for each proof of purchase.

"Mom! Mom! You have to buy Tyson fried nuggets. It's for the schooooool!"

On top of the fried stuff, our kids get a lot of sugar.

Fact alert: 29 grams = one ounce.

Eight ounces of reconstituted frozen orange juice has 24 grams, or almost 6 teaspoons of sugar.

Give a group of 4th grade Girl Scouts a can of frozen orange juice and they will beg to add sugar to it.

Give a group of 4th grade Girl Scouts reconstituted orange juice, a yogurt, a banana, and a cereal bar for breakfast and they will have had 58 grams of sugar, or almost 14 teaspoons!

They will still feel entitled to a doughnut.

Some suggest that it would be easier to just run down to the corner and buy the girls a box of doughnuts.

Give a group of 4th grade Girl Scouts a no-bake campfire dessert made of chocolate cake, cherry pie filling, chocolate pudding and Cool Whip and they will ask why they didn't get any S'mores.

Sigh.

A free taste of a product offered for sale: Sample

A large warehouse-style retailer: Sam's Club

A free taste of a food item offered for sale at a warehouse store: Samsple

A free taste of a pork product offered for sale at a warehouse store: Hamsple

As soon as the sun goes down on Halloween night, the Christmas shopping season starts. Fun sized poor-value-per-ounce candies are consolidated in the front of the store to make way for the next gift buying opportunity.

All the store entrances have all their holiday bric-a-brac arranged into mini obstacle courses. It has become the Extreme Holiday Season. Decorations should stimulate, at a bare minimum, half of the five senses.

At Wal-Mart, a not quite life-sized Santa wiggles his pelvis and sings to me as soon as I enter his motion detector zone.

At Lowe's, Christmas trees of astronomical proportions and varying hues monopolize the high-dollar retail real estate at the front of the store, along with a dizzying array of angel tree toppers, right next to the can't-live-without ShopSmith 12-in-1 $2700 woodworking tool demonstration, where the salesman makes a wooden flower for the ladies. Don't forget the six foot tall nutcracker!

At Sam's Club, the revolving pre-wired artificial Christmas tree with built-in music was attracting some attention, as were the five foot tall wreaths. Sample ladies were offering up Eggnog, tins o' chocolate dipped cookies, and I found myself with a trio of brick-like fruitcake in my hand, that I did manage to resist.

Speaking of the multi-purpose holiday crap, don't forget the gifty items. These are things that you would never buy for yourself, such as:
1. Anything you would buy at a gift shop;
2. Anything from a crafts mall;
3. Prepackaged sets, such as biscotti in a ceramic jar labeled "biscotti";
4. Anything that will be stored in an attic eleven months of the year, i.e. reindeer socks.
5. Anything you think is "clever".

The worst thing is having to drag children through all the sensational holiday craptaculars when all you need is a tube of caulk.

Here is what I want for my birthday.

The Scarecrow is a motion activated sprinkler, which is highly effective in chasing off yard pests. This may be a bird, a squirrel, a cat or a neighbor. Anything that moves is fair game for The Scarecrow.

We still have some cat problems. As the rare house on the block without a dog, our yard is a quiet and peaceful haven for moggies. While I like cats, I don't like cat poop left about.

Also, since my last moggie post, the cats seem to have multiplied, as cats tend to do.

They are lounging all over the place. It is like a feline Peyton Place around here.

I've tried a few things to discourage them. I've placed plastic containers of ammonia in the areas in which they like to lounge. I read that they don't like coffee grounds, so I've been spreading those about the yard.

Yet, while I was cleaning the windows from the inside of the living room last week, a wayward moggie in hunting mode reached up from the flower bed and scratched at the screen.

So, The Scarecrow! I've read only glowing reviews on epinions, ebay, and every other internet review source.

From the manufacturer's site:

Beak and eye decals are included with each unit to brighten up the Scarecrow and give it personality. Avoid applying if using near bird feeders which attract small birds. While the Scarecrow's water will effectively repel an unwanted cat, the visual effect of the eyes may inadvertently scare the birds away.

Too bad we can't attach a sprayer of skunk concentrate to The Scarecrow.

Or can we?

Who doesn't love a Peep?

David and I love Peeps.

Did you know that the original Peep chicks have been around since 1953?

Just Born, the makers of Peeps, have an informative website with timelines and (of all things) Peeps recipes. The recipe collection is a little heavy on the desserts, you'll need to look elsewhere for dinner ideas.

The best time to buy your Peeps is right after the Peeps holiday. The week after Halloween is a great time to buy pumpkin and ghost Peeps for about ten cents a gross. Our local Target tends to way overbuy on their candy so we eat a lot of cheap Peeps. The stomach ache is the same no matter what the price.

And, there's an on-line fan club!

I am no expert on elections procedures (heh) but I did work the phones for five days in the county elections office. Here are some actual questions from real live Democrats voters:

Q: Is it true that Republicans vote on Tuesday and Democrats vote on Wednesday?
A: No
Tempting, I'll tell you.

Q: Can I vote today (Monday)?
A: No, early voting ended Friday.
Q: Then can I vote on Wednesday?

Q: Where is Yatta Yatta Elementary School?
A: 123 Main St., Yourtown
Q: I know that, but where is it?
A: I don't know, ma'am, do you have a map?
Q: Where would I get one of those?

There were tons of people doing provisional voting that were most likely not registered and were grasping at straws  (they'd say that they weren't sure if they registered and then when they were told that they weren't, they'd pitch a fit). How bogus.