I found a new TV show. For the first time, I actually watched a show on the Lifetime Television Network. TV for girls...

How Clean is your House features Kim and Aggie, two lovely, spiffy, and anal retentive British ladies, who go to homes that should (no joke) be condemned due to filth and mental illness of the inhabitants. It's a new home each week.

They proceed to inspect the home, on camera, while pointing out all the disgusting, filthy features of some slob's home. This is not an exaggeration.

If you ever need validation as a sane human being, watch this show.

"Jane" lives in what appears to be a fairly new California-type townhome, which must have been insanely expensive.

Jane is a fitness buff. She is in good shape physically. To look at her, she looks sane. I'll bet people see her working out and think, "I wish I could be like her...". If I recall correctly she is a teacher, and if so, she should have been fired after this show being aired. She should work with neither children or impressionable people of any age.

After working out, Jane spends a lot of time chewing gum. Apparently when she is done chewing, she lets it just fall out of her mouth where it may, as there was gum all over the carpet and floors.

From the looks of her home, Jane does not know what either a closet or a trash can is as her clothes and trash are spread in an even layer throughout her home.

Kim and Aggie come through with the obligatory black light and find bacteria or bodily fluids (or whatever a black light finds) all over Jane's fridge, toilet, etc. They find a whole freezer burned rotisserie chicken in her fridge, not wrapped up or anything. It looks like it flew in and met a terrible fate. Jane explains weakly, "If I ever got sick, I figured I could eat the chicken". Yeah, Jane. Eat that chicken and die! Not a single container in Jane's fridge had a lid on it, and half of the containers looked as though they had thrown up, probably after seeing the rotisserie chicken.

Kim and Aggie take swabs of Jane's house surfaces for bacterial testing. Jane's refrigerator had 430 times as many germs as her toilet, which was totally brown up to the water line.

Hey Jane, how about some hand soap? How about some Sani-Flush?

Why in the world would you subject yourself to such public humiliation? My bathroom trash can is cleaner than your toothbrush!