Recently, on one of the local message boards I read, someone wondered aloud why anyone would wear a ball cap to an upscale restaurant.

My guess is that most people are not aware that it is considered a lack of respect to wear a hat or cap indoors, as they have likely never been taught any sort of manners. They don't know that it is the custom for a man to remove his hat, and for a woman not to wear a man's hat.

Well let me tell you, the ball cap wearers are very upset that people are not accepting of ball caps being worn indoors. People in the far, far, far north Dallas area want to wear their ball cap indoors. They want to wear their cowboy hat indoors. How dare someone point out to them something printed in every etiquette book printed in the last 200 years.

Their retorts were, "what does it matter what someone else is wearing?" It doesn't matter that it is considered customary to remove the hat! No one replied, "Gee I didn't know that, now that I know it is part of my society's rules of conduct, I'll do it!" Nope, they were just irate.

I dunno... what does it matter?

Where do we draw the line at respect? What does it matter what anyone wears to your wedding? Seriously? Let them wear shorts and a shirt with an expletive across the front. Who cares? Shouldn't affect you. Why should anyone dress up for your wedding? Don't matter what people wear.

Here was a good point: What about when you go to a job interview, do you decline the interviewer's handshake? What is the point of shaking hands? Who cares? Shouldn't affect you if they expect a handshake. Pshaw.... respect and custom, how stupid. Oh, wait... money in your pocket if you get the job.. you have mastered the handshake, haven't you?

Another good point: What, you are getting married? You already have your own place, maybe live together? How stupid to register for your wedding... that's old school. Oh wait, you can get a huge payout by embracing custom and sending out tons of invites, and registering at multiple stores? Well, by all means, register then!  But please omit the thank you cards! People should give a gift with no strings attached, and to expect acknowledgment is to attach strings.

I'm sorry that people feel so entitled these days, and I'm sorry that manners have gone by the wayside. But by all means keep the customs that line your pockets.

People who have been raised with manners know that it is improper to point out rudeness. So, while I am happy to answer an etiquette question if I can, I cannot strike back at a social boor who attacks me for being aware of the rules of etiquette.

So how does it affect me if you wear your ball cap in the steakhouse?

I see you and I think to myself, how sad that you were not taught to respect others, unless there is a monetary payoff. How sad that you have degraded the experience for everyone else. What is the next social option? Why should we use the knife and fork? Let's use our hands.

Manners are about showing respect for others. It is no surprise to me that so many people are uninterested in manners in this "all about me" world.

Tonight, I present to you, one of the most attractive, yet useless appliances ever:


Yes, that is an LG "Titanium" refrigerator, model LRSC26922TT.

We have a perfectly fine Frigidaire that made party ice like a mad dog, but nooooo, someone (me) wasn't happy with a white refrigerator in a stainless steel kitchen. So I perused Craigslist and found this beauty.

We bought it from some young guys who were using it as a beer and fish fridge in their apartment garage. It was cheap, yes, and it did seem to work fine when we got it home. But then, the freezer started to get warmer and the ice started to melt and we had to move all the frozen food out to the forlorn white Frigidaire in the garage.

Now the cheap, yet beautiful fridge is waiting for service on Thursday. Please say a prayer for it.

I hope we don't end up spending as much making this thing work as we would have spent on a new refrigerator with a warranty!

The worst thing is that while I new we were taking a chance with a used refrigerator, and we wouldn't have bought used if it weren't so frivolous to replace a perfectly good refrigerator, I didn't know that it is virtually impossible to get service for an LG refrigerator!

Most appliance repair companies aren't even returning my calls, and the few who pick up have no interest in looking at an LG. So, even if it is something simple like a door seal or the door not mounted properly (we took the doors off to get it in the house), no one wants to look at it.

One repair guy, who sounded like a crusty old fart, upon hearing I have a malfunctioning LG refrigerator yelled through the phone, "Good luck!" followed by, "Next time, buy a Whirlpool!"

Maybe I will...

Recently on A&E, a short series aired. I Can Make You Thin is a program (or programme, in Paul's homeland) where this motivational hypnotist uses mind programming and behavior modification techniques to help people lose weight.

I won't argue with Paul's techniques. After all, they work. Eat less. Eat when hungry, stop when full. Don't eat for emotional reasons. Don't shoot to be model thin. All that makes 100% sense.

The weird and very sad thing is that people think that this common sense is a diet.

Paul McKenna has a message board on his website. People who most likely were birthed by second or third generation serial dieters ask questions such as:

"I'm overweight now. Do I need to go on a diet and lose weight before I start Paul's program?"
The answer is no, you do not have to lose weight before you start eating  when you are hungry and stopping when you are full.

"I'm pregnant. Can I use Paul's diet?"
The answer is yes, you can eat when you are hungry and stop when you are full, while pregnant.

It is so sad that people have gotten so out of whack with what eating is all about. It isn't a game of trading off these calories for a diet soda, or how many artificially sweetened products can I substitute for regular. It isn't about getting the most food for the least money. It is about feeding our bodies.

The saddest thing is that there are more and more people who are using food as a drug. I know I do, especially in the middle of the night when I feel alone, and another day has passed where I didn't do what I wanted to do. I can start it all over tomorrow after all, be it housework, or writing, or a dream, or healthy eating habits. Or exercise.

You get the picture.

Well, here it is almost a month later and I am still cooking Italian food. I am sorry that I promised Ethiopian food, I guess that has been moved to the "back burner" for now. Pun intended?

Ethiopians please note: I haven't given up yet!

Tonight's pictures are of a rustic bread (a la extra pizza dough that I practiced throwing about) and the precious and shiny Marcato Atlas 150 pasta machine. We can't wait to make more spinach pasta, and that is what we plan to do for this week's date night.

The weekend before last, I had an impromptu dinner get together. Given the timing, there were only five of us, but it was a great combination of five! Anne, Mike, Kari, David and moi. With most of us being light eaters, I made a simple lasagne Bolognese with homemade spinach pasta (pre-machine, sore muscles pasta), Caprese salad, A few cheeses to start off with, including gorgonzola and an aged cheddar, and baguette. For dessert, we had creme brulee in my little lion's head ramekins (not the best vehicles for torching a creme brulee, yet adorable and must be used).

For once, all the wines were a hit. In the order served:


The Argentinian Malbec was a wild card, thrown in at the end of the evening since everyone was done eating. I never miss a chance to roll out my favorites! The evening was a success and I hope to do it again soon.

Stay tuned to Brennerworld for more faffing about in the kitchen!

...even though I'm not.

My current interest is Italian cooking. Why is this? Well the long story short is that while having my car serviced at the dealership, and leafing through their collection of magazines, I came across one titled Saveur. It was full of gorgeous photos and recipes, one of which was for my favorite dish to cook at home, French Onion Soup! And they included historic photos of French restaurants that are still in existence - places to visit on our next trip, and motivation to visit yet again.

Yes, I know French Onion Soup is not Italian. But the dealership was so kind as to make me a photocopy of the article and I took a subscription card home to subscribe immediately.

As part of my paid subscription, I received two small recipe booklets, Italian Classics I and Italian Classics II. Then, I received my first issue, which was full of Italian recipes.

In the last week, I've made two pizzas completely from scratch. I've made a double batch of Ragu alla Bolognese, and with half of that I will be making homemade spinach pasta with which I will assemble lasagne. We polished off a recipe of Spaghettia alla Carbonara over the last two days. Delicioso!

Oh, and since I am now Italian, we had to go to Jimmy's Food Store, in Dallas proper, which is a neighborhood Italian market. There, I bought Parmesan Reggiano, Pecorino Romano, canned Italian tomatoes, and pancetta. So what that it cost me $20 in gas to drive there (plus we were going down that way anyway for wine tasting).

Next, I'll be trying some of the Ethiopan recipes from the last issue. The spices sound wonderful and we love lentils.

Watch for my installment titled, "I love being Ethiopian".

Yesterday was our seventh anniversary. At last, a day of celebration without one or both of us having some sort of viral infection!

So we did the usual anniversary stuff: We visited Celestial Park, where we were married, drove past some of the old haunts down in that area, and then went to dinner.

I always enjoy going back to Celestial Park, but it is so different now. The park isn't kept up as nice as it was back then, and there is usually someone loitering around the sundial (much like we do).

We visited the two apartment complexes where we lived as newlyweds, and they are really run down now. They may have been less than stellar while we lived there, but now they would be out of the question. I don't think it's a matter of us being used to nicer surroundings, I think the area has just gone to the dogs. Sorry, dogs.

My mother loves Oprah Winfrey.

Oprah likes to give things to people. Some of those things might be stupid and unnecessary ideas.

A rags to filthy riches story can be a wonderful thing, but let's not go off the deep end folks!

Jessica Seinfeld, supposedly wife of Jerry Seinfeld (of Seinfeld), supposedly cannot get her kids to eat regular ol' food. So, she wrote a book on how to sneak regular ol' food into kids.

She purees some vegetables and mixes minute quantities into desserts.

Hello?

Would you, as an intelligent human being, admit that you couldn't feed regular ol' food into a kid? For how many thousands of years have children been eating vegetables, etc.? All 11 Walton kids managed to live after eating just regular ol' food right out in the open.

My mother was so impressed with this idea of tricking children into eating desserts containing smidgens of vegetables, that she proclaimed Jessica Seinfeld a genius. So I asked my mother, "How did you manage to get us to eat our vegetables as kids?"

My mother's response: "I don't know, you just ate them!"

Helllooooooooo? Because that is what we were given!

And, to this day I love vegetables the best.

I know I won't win anyone over here, I won't even try. But rest assured, if you are feeding your kids hidden foods everyday, a bunch of people are laughing at your stupidity. And your kids are not going to sneak vegetables into their own undeveloped senses of taste later in life. You understand that, right? They will just eat sweets and fats because they never developed beyond that stage.

But hey, you won.

When I was a little kid, my parents would take us visiting.

It could be in any familial configuration: Mother/daughter, parents/children, etc., but people would go the homes of friends and acquaintances and sit in their living rooms, partake of their refreshments, and just shoot the breeze.

Judging from known milestones in time, I would have to say I was doing this on my own by about the age of six, around 1969 or 1970.

We had some next door neighbors, Stella and Mike, who had a kid-magnet in the form of an old English sheepdog named Harry. I remember, vividly, knocking on the door and being invited in to talk. I can tell you the layout of the house, and describe part of the decor. Stella and Mike were super-cool, having a highly lacquered wooden cable spool as a coffee table, and a "guest room" of purple inflatable pool mattresses. Mike drove a convertible Porsche, and although Harry was happy to go for a walk on his leash, he was even happier to see Mike come home.

Lest you think this was just some poor woman tolerating me, Stella, who took ceramics classes, made me a really nice little wall hanging with little purple dried flowers. This was not simple tolerance for some bratty kid coming over, this was real visiting! You don't have to believe me though.

When we traveled to Scotland as children, or visited family friends in the United States, we were always welcomed and treated as well as our parents were treated. We would sit and talk to grown ups. They would talk to us.
More often than not, upon our leaving at the end of the evening, we were presented with a gift of some sort, perhaps money to purchase a treat, perhaps an extravagant gift of chocolate. We ate the same food that the grown ups ate, and for the most part, sat at the same table.

One of the nicest couples I have ever met in my life, Gertrude and Ed Patterson, lived in Tucson, AZ and had been friends with my grandparents for years. They had no children of their own. As far back as I can remember, we visited them. I remember the floor plan of their home in the 1960s. I remember the floor plan of the mobile home that they lived in later, and I remember the furniture and its placement. They always had an electric vibrating recliner. They've been gone for over 30 years, but I remember them and always will. I searched for their gravesites the last time I was in AZ, and while I didn't find them in time, I will visit their graves next time. I would even make a special trip to visit their grave sites. Maybe after tax season I will go.

When we traveled to Scotland with my mother, we would visit her friends and relatives, and her mother's friends. I loved going over to my Aunt Sadie's house with or without my mom. Aunt Sadie's husband was Uncle Bill, and they were fabulous people. They had a dog named Roddy, and although I cannot say what type of dog Roddy was, I know he was an awesome jumper and was likely not neutered and was probably hated by other dog owners in the area. Aunt Sadie's electric meter was in a cupboard to the right as you walked in the front door, and one would drop coins into it as needed.

When in Scotland, my mother would always make it a point to visit Mrs. Watson. Mrs. Watson was a friend of my grandmother's, who became a friend of my mother's later in life. The last time I was in Scotland, I traveled alone. My mother told me to be sure to visit Mrs. Watson. I was given Mrs. Watson's address, and I dutifully went to her home, sat on her couch and ate delicious cucumber and tomato sandwiches. It was wonderful.

I can tell you the surnames of every family that we ever had as neighbors. I can almost give you addresses. Tonight, I pulled out carved animals and little wooden dolls from Japan that I received as a small girl from family friends. I recalled having chicken pox and adults bringing me diversions because they cared. And I remember a kimono from Alice Niiya, and these wooden dolls and animals, and the color of her house and her husband's name was Tak (for short) and he worked at the botanical gardens as a horticulturist. I remember taking shoes off in their home without question and the bonsai tree on their coffee table, and the floor plan of their home.

These days, even as an adult, I don't always feel welcome visiting. I can't imagine LD going off for a visit, knocking on someone's door, and going in for a chat. I get bad vibes enough expecting her to say please and thank you, and talking to adults or taking interest in others is pretty close to abuse in this day and age. I really think people are making children socially retarded these days.

A few years ago, we attended a very small church, and while visiting with a family after church, the parents told us that their child was very shy and made excuses for her. This teenager was smiling hugely and sitting on the top of the car. They pretty much told us that she didn't speak, and to be honest, we didn't believe it for a moment.

Today, we visited David's aunt, and I confided that we were trying to get LD to care about other people and to actually listen to others, and not to leave the room to play with animals or to wrestle with dad, and I did hear the comment that L.D. is only 12. When I explained my own background, David's aunt asked how many times I had been molested, doing all that visiting. Zero, I replied.

I wonder if LD could relate the details of childhood friends and neighbors the way I can 35 years later. I doubt it. She hasn't been taught to look past her own nose, and when someone encourages it, half of the people think it is mean to do so and the other half think it is a novelty.

I know I've written about alcohol sales in Texas before, but I am going to do it again.

Texas, unlike California or New York, has some really backwards laws regarding alcohol and what you can do with it, and when and where.

For example, one cannot, even in the 21st century, buy hard alcohol on Sunday in Texas. At least not in a liquor store, I don't know about restaurants, as I rarely ever drink outside the home. Larger liquor vendors build beer and wine stores adjacent to "real" liquor stores so that they can close the liquor part on Sunday and continue to sell beer and wine. If Christmas falls on a Sunday, one cannot buy hard alcohol on the Monday following.

Anna, Texas is a small town in the far northeast reaches of Dallas. It is a nice place, something I've learned since they started to sell liquor.

Anna has new subdivisions, and many rural properties. There are historic businesses, and new stores appearing, like an auto parts chain and a new dollar store. Most of the town is set well off 75, a four lane highway that runs from Dallas to Oklahoma.

So less than two years ago, the town narrowly voted in hard alcohol sales. I didn't learn this by reading it in a newspaper, or by seeing it on television. I didn't see a liquor store ad. Anna didn't have a reputation for alcohol sales, and I would venture a guess that most of the county's residents have no clue.

How did I learn about Anna's "sordid" side then? A friend who lives out that way told me.

So now, we drive up to Anna from McKinney, instead of all the way across Collin County to Denton County. We buy some liquor, maybe eat out in Anna while we are there. They have a rare (for Texas, anyway) Carl's Jr. and we love to eat there. If you go, it is exit 49, and try the jalapeño burger, or if you really want a treat, a Six Dollar Burger (which is actually four dollars and change).

Now, I go up to Anna, and I explore the town. I always thought it was just a Podunk town with an offramp and two truck stops. The Love's Truck Stop has just about everything you could ever need. Plus there's that damned Carl's Jr. that beckons.

When I go up to Anna, I might buy a bottle of alcohol, and drive right back to McKinney, leaving little trace that I had even been there. Another time, I might eat there in Anna, or we might eat there as a family, or I might take something home to eat. I might go for a drive through the countryside looking for small cemeteries where I might take pictures of headstones for a genealogy website for which I volunteer. I consider what it might be like to live out there.

Regardless, I always leave a little something behind: My sales tax dollars.

If I buy a bottle of booze, I leave some sales tax and support the local business.

If I eat at Carl's Jr., or any other restaurant, I leave some sales tax and support the local business.

If I buy a home out there, I'll pay some property taxes and some sales tax.

If in the upcoming election, the prohibitionists outlaw alcohol sales, I will never spend another dime in Anna, Texas. Except perhaps at the Carl's Jr.

The prohibitionists? Yep, 21st century prohibitionists.

Although the liquor stores in Anna are on the frontage road to the highway, and the stores close at 9:00 p.m., and these are beautiful, clean, service-oriented stores with expensive wines and pricey, quality liquors, and the crime rate has not increased in Anna, and there have been ZERO DWIs, and the property values are rising, and the sales tax dollars have increased with only ONE liquor store (and more to follow, one opening tomorrow), the prohibitionists want to vote alcohol sales out of Anna, TX.

We'll find out what happens soon.

I guess if they outlaw the liquor sales, they'll win. Big. They'll show us. They'll run the "riff raff" like us out of town. The ~40-somethings with nice cars, nice incomes, and nice homes. Yes, run us off. And we will give our money back to The Colony, or Addison, or now, Little Elm.

And while we are out spending our money, we will eat in restaurants, buy gas and groceries, and consider living "there", which won't be Anna, TX.

One of the things I didn't address when I spouted off about maintenance meds was just on the tip of my tongue.

Let's not forget the antidepressants, okay? Let's not overlook the elephant in the middle of the room.

What percentage of the female population is on antidepressants? Are you on antidepressants?

I've been to the doctor for various reasons, and I would say that 50% of the time it is suggested that I take some sort of daily maintenance medication.

One time, I was prescribed antidepressants. I was actually crying in the doctor's office about my weight, and the doctor suggested that I might be depressed. So she suggested an antidepressant, by name. And I questioned if that antidepressant had a side effect of weight gain. Why yes, it does. So I get another antidepressant, Wellbutrin, which doesn't have the weight gain side effect.

And guess what, Wellbutrin did nothing, NOTHING, for my life. But I can get a three month prescription for it easily. It is easy to just take it, and not think about it.

I think a lot of Americans wear their supposed "conditions", be they depressed, suffer from "ADHD", etc., on their sleeves. They seem really proud to have the disease du jour.

Personally, I strive to be like my parents: In their 70s and they don't take any daily meds.